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Modern Masculinity

Graphic with the text ‘Empathetic & Tough’ in large letters. The lower part of the image is blue with white lettering, the upper part is white with blue lettering. The ‘&’ sign is placed in light blue in the centre
Graphic with the text ‘ Doers & Dreamers’ in large letters. The upper part of the image is blue with white lettering, the lower part is white with blue lettering. The ‘&’ sign is placed in light blue in the centre

When is a man a man?

Graphic in the shape of a postage stamp. Inside is the text: ‘ The space that boys and men have to explore and express their identity could fit on a postage stamp. It’s not enough. At the bottom right is a round logo with the words ‘You are right here’ in German and a blue location pin symbol.

On 19 November 2024, International Men's Day, Nils Pickert (@pickinese) gave a keynote speech entitled ‘When is a man a man? - As long as there have to be “real” men, we're all the wrong ones’. He took us into his world of thought, which is all about rigid role models, clichés and the narrow spaces in which boys and men are supposed to find their identity.

On 10 March 2025, Christoph May, Director of the Institute for Critical Masculinity Research, followed on from the previous event with another keynote speech on "Critical masculinity: a key to equal opportunities and an open society?". This event took place in cooperation with WoMent and Führungsfrauen Heilbronn e.V. as part of the "Open Society" series of events. He provided fascinating insights into the effects of male bonding and outdated role models on the economy, politics and culture.

It is constantly said: "Men are not allowed to do XYZ." But what are they allowed to do? What identity can they really have? Boundaries are important, but identity cannot be defined by prohibitions alone. Men also need role models and positive examples.

Instead, we define how boys and men should be and which path they should take. But they have never simply been allowed to be who they want to be. The space they have to try out and live out their identity fits on a postage stamp. That's not enough.

The answer to this dilemma is equality.

‘How we are born and which chromosomes are assigned to us is simply a lottery. [...] The fact that the world is everything, but not binary in any sense of the word, is the first confrontation we need. In the family, at school and elsewhere. Being human is more important than gender roles.’

‘It is important for us men to realise that ‘feminisation’ is not a dirty word, but a sign of strength. ❤️’

‘I found this thought ‘How can I be a good person?’ very impressive and helpful. If you keep repeating this when you think and talk about your life, it will have an impact.’

‘Especially in this day and age, when [...] ‘women's suffrage’ is being questioned, internet personalities are agitating against ‘feminised’ men and when men are still looked at the wrong way if they don't buy the 27in1 car shower gel, it's incredibly important to do this public relations work.’

MENtal Health

Overestimation

71,6 %of men rate their general state of health as good or very good, although many of them show depressive symptoms.
Männergesundheitsportal

Sick through work

35,5 %of sick leave due to mental illness in the first half of 2024 was taken by men.
KKH Kaufmännische Krankenkasse

Time

20 Monateis the average time it takes for people with a depressive disorder to seek help. Many men hesitate longer than women.
Stiftung Deutsche Depressionshilfe und Suizidprävention

Dark Figure

5,1 % of men in Germany officially suffer from depression, but the actual figure is probably higher.
Diagnose Depression: Unterschiede bei Frauen und Männern. (2013). In KOMPAKT.

What to do?

Acceptance

Accepting yourself with your weaknesses and feelings is the first step towards real strength.

Speak

Talking takes the pressure off. When you express what is bothering you, it often loses its power.

Balance

Find your balance and don't neglect it when things get stressful.

Overcoming

It takes courage to confront your inner self - but it's worth it.

Accept Help

Nobody has to do everything alone - not even you.

Show Feelings

Feelings don't make you weak - they make you human.

Ressources

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